Ego​

People confuse confidence and ego.

Ultimately your ego is the self-image that you want others to believe. You could also say there’s something you’re trying to prove to yourself that you may not know exists.  We tend to feed our ego with superficial and we build our confidence with truth.

The way I see it with your ego there’s no growth, just what you think should be… you don’t open yourself to possibilities and you’re not honest. You feed the need we all have to belong with validation of your popularity, money, car, image, etc… these things are all superficial. We think these are the things we need to be happy and fulfilled but those are just the distractions from the real happenings. What good do they do when the real truths still arise and manifests themselves in the form of a different obstacle/conflict/circumstance/relationship…..??

But with confidence, you’re able to grow and you grow outside of what you know and you open yourself up to knowledge, growth, and experiences. Confidence includes taking risks and being vulnerable at times. That’s where real confidence comes from. And the more we practice these things the more our confidence is built. Things become a little less difficult because we are more certain and aware of ourselves ❤

 

Why do we oppose being in our feelings?? I mean… I can understand why we do… but ultimately there is no reason to.

Our emotions are speaking a truth within us that we sometimes can not figure out… and that usually puts us in a state of frenzy, impulse, and disregard for ourselves and others…

Yes, it can seem difficult because our emotions can put us in that state of certainty… and a lot of us don’t know how to handle those emotions…

For some, as children, we were unconsciously told to shove our emotions somewhere far away where they could not be seen or heard and to present ourselves in a manner that says

“I am okay, even though I am not…”

 

“I won’t cry, even though I’m hurting…”

 

“Someone did something to me that I did not like, but I’ll just be quiet instead.”

AND THAT IS EXACTLY HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES! (as adults)… and it’s just not okay. And in some area of your life it is showing… trust and believe.

If you look at some ppl you would think they were living their best life. I mean really…

But all the while what you really see is a person who is caged by their own mind and imprisoned by the thoughts of who they should be… Rather than who they are.

And there are soooo many other ways that we have been unconsciously and consciously conditioned but we are not aware yet… but then again some of us are and it just takes a little more time to learn those important lessons we need in life.

But if no one has said it to you today (or ever) just know that what you are feeling is okay and crying about it is ok… feeling upset is ok… feeling sad is okay… IT IS OKAY TO FEEL.

So practice being mindful of YOUR feelings! They ARE important. Who to take better care of you than you! Address the issue, walk into your truth… listen to yourself…  if you do not listen to yourself how do you expect others to listen to you?

4.18.18

I saw everything today. In my moment of mindfulness, I saw everything. I lived in the moment, I felt no seconds or minutes pass. I was in tune with what was going on in the world. It was like I was the world and the world was me.

Where are the beautiful people?

Where have the beautiful people gone?

Being beautiful is more than just looks.

Being beautiful is something that comes from within… it is something that I think a lot of us have a hard time sharing, because maybe we feel as though we are not.

The way you treat others and the way you treat yourself reveals a lot about your inner beauty.

Feeling beautiful can be a feeling you get from others and yourself based on your outward appearance… and there is nothing wrong with that… but what happens when that beauty fades?? what happens when something/someone comes and alters that feeling??

And all you are stuck with is a canvas… that use to be beautiful.

When you are a beautiful person within no one can change that.

No one has the power to take that from you, as long as you don’t allow it.

Beauty is showing gratitude and respect to all living things.

Beauty is the upbeat rhythm playing in your heart and soul because you have all the confidence and faith in yourself and your God.

Beauty is the soul that gives and takes love.

Beauty is the person that you are and that you fighting to become.

You don’t have to have perfection to be beautiful…

Just some love… for yourself.

My favorite movie!

“There are a lot of people in this world who have bad trouble. We happen to be three of those people. We could sit around the rest of our lives and live on that trouble and we’d get to where we’d have nothing else because we wanted nothing else.”

-Joe Tilford

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I just finished watching my favorite movie, The Children’s Hour. Starring Audrey Hepburn, Shirley MacLaine, and James Garner. I have seen this movie so many times and enjoyed it… but never have I perceived it the way I did tonight. It is truly a good movie. I can only imagine living in such a time struggling with your identity and sexual orientation.

-Also, I love Audrey Hepburn ❤

Sleep

I should be asleep

Yet I am awake

Thinking about something

Thinking about nothing.

 

I should be asleep

But my pillow is damp

There are tears on my cheeks

My eyes are exhausted.

 

I should be asleep

I set my alarm for bed at 10PM

It is 1:25AM…

 

I should be asleep, but I can’t find my way there.

It is 1:26AM and I am awake.

I am sad, I am overwhelmed, I am anxious, I am frustrated!

 

Why when I crawl into bed do these thoughts come with me?

I  should be asleep.

 

 

Vision Board

I finally finished my vision board!

I was supposed to be done with my vision board in January… that didn’t happen.

But, I have finally completed my visual.

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My board represents who I am, who I was, and who I want to be. I have several reminders and words than root deeper meanings within myself.

Continue below… I want to share a story.

When I was done pasting my words, I began to decorate my board. But then I stopped and looked at my board and it reminded me of my life… all these dreams and aspirations.

And then… there were the small, sparkly sequins I had begun to paste. But, they were no longer sparkly decorations.  They represented all the distractions that have held me back along my journey.

So… I peeled them all off. Had I followed my first mind not to even decorate, I wouldn’t have had to go through any of that trouble. But, we live and learn! That’s the greatest part of living… you still have a chance. Even if you screw up and don’t get it right today you still have the ability to try again and apply those lessons.

Plus! The decorations just add clutter and take away from my board, I think. I love simplicity. So that it is, simple. I am going to do a board of my favorite affirmations next. I find these activities to be a productive way to use your time, especially when you have free time to devote from escaping the negatives. ❤