Just as a flower’s life…
there are relationships that will bloom and there are others that will wither.
Just as the gardener tends her garden…
there is a time to tend, a time to salvage, and a time to let go.
God is trying to do something through me and my life… I’m not sure what exactly though…
Others may tell me otherwise…
But how can you argue with a vision that was given to me from God???
a tear on my notebook from the night before…
a small reminder of what WAS
Love is learned.
love= possibilities… confidence… desire… gratitude… honesty… compassion… selfless.. empathy… encouraging… fearless… disappointing… curious… instinctive… hope… strength… passion… internal… patient… fulfilling… painful… egoless… experiences… commitment… respect… God… wholeness… a reflection of you
“Love yourself so that love will not be a stranger when it comes…”
Dealing with my mental health is comparable I think to a game of seesaw… expect I’m the only person playing.
I mean, for the most part, I am pretty functional… no one knows what I deal with unless I choose to share with them… Most days it seems I’m just sitting and waiting for the next episode, and when it arrives it’s a constant fight of who’s going up and who’s going down…
Anxiety is having thoughts that I don’t want in my head running and running until they stumble from exhaustion. It’s feeling fearful and doubtful and self-loathing…
Depression is feeling completely useless, unworthy, and hopeless… no sense of ambition… just an emptiness that engulfs my entire being.
Being bipolar are those moments when I’m like sooo elated and like OMG, all this energy and I just want to daaaaance. LALALALA I’m so productive, look at me getting sh*t done. I’m just freaking AWEEESome. My mind is racing and like, I’m here and here and I’m there too. But then it’s over…… and I guess I’m okay… and I mean I’m chilling I guess, yawn.. blahh. I could go do something but… yeah probably not, I’ll just sit right here.
I can honestly say that my mental health has definitely improved and every day I am learning ways to manage myself. This journey has been lonely, frustrating, and confusing but don’t give up on yourself; no one can love you better than YOU… I can’t wait to share more, til next time 😉
When you’re struggling within yourself…
It’s like being trapped in a tall glass.
You scream, hoping you’ll be heard .
You stand there with your arms up… waiting for someone to pull you out
……but no one comes, you are trapped.
Stuck standing there; mouth wide open, arms up, screaming at the top of your lungs “HELP!!!“
Just you and yourself.
Now, you’re tired and your energy is gone. You slowly rot.
……because no one came???
But all the while… you, you were there.