Ego​

People confuse confidence and ego.

Ultimately your ego is the self-image that you want others to believe. You could also say there’s something you’re trying to prove to yourself that you may not know exists.  We tend to feed our ego with superficial and we build our confidence with truth.

The way I see it with your ego there’s no growth, just what you think should be… you don’t open yourself to possibilities and you’re not honest. You feed the need we all have to belong with validation of your popularity, money, car, image, etc… these things are all superficial. We think these are the things we need to be happy and fulfilled but those are just the distractions from the real happenings. What good do they do when the real truths still arise and manifests themselves in the form of a different obstacle/conflict/circumstance/relationship…..??

But with confidence, you’re able to grow and you grow outside of what you know and you open yourself up to knowledge, growth, and experiences. Confidence includes taking risks and being vulnerable at times. That’s where real confidence comes from. And the more we practice these things the more our confidence is built. Things become a little less difficult because we are more certain and aware of ourselves ❤

 

I miss my dad.

I’ve never said those words before tonight.

But I knew one day I would. Just not tonight…

I was just sitting in bed. Thinking:

“what can i do”

“what do i do in the meantime”

“how can i be the best version of me”…

And then with all my pride, I opened my mouth I asked God aloud “How can I serve you? Help me to be who I need to be.”

And then it started… I started thinking about my dad. I started to think about the reality of my relationship with my father… it had been nonexistent for years… just complete silence.

And now more than anything, I wish he was here.

 

I wish we hadn’t been stuck in our egos and had just shown each other the love we both deserved…

I asked and I was given. As I took the time to just let myself unravel I thought to myself…

Is this apart of the process?? Is this something that I needed because I had been filled with such resentment and was unconscious for so long and never realized it? Was God telling me to love? to give love and also RECIEVE IT… because honestly, I haven’t been.

❤ ❤

When it’s the right time God will show you your true self… and what you do with that truth is up to you.

Why do we oppose being in our feelings?? I mean… I can understand why we do… but ultimately there is no reason to.

Our emotions are speaking a truth within us that we sometimes can not figure out… and that usually puts us in a state of frenzy, impulse, and disregard for ourselves and others…

Yes, it can seem difficult because our emotions can put us in that state of certainty… and a lot of us don’t know how to handle those emotions…

For some, as children, we were unconsciously told to shove our emotions somewhere far away where they could not be seen or heard and to present ourselves in a manner that says

“I am okay, even though I am not…”

 

“I won’t cry, even though I’m hurting…”

 

“Someone did something to me that I did not like, but I’ll just be quiet instead.”

AND THAT IS EXACTLY HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES! (as adults)… and it’s just not okay. And in some area of your life it is showing… trust and believe.

If you look at some ppl you would think they were living their best life. I mean really…

But all the while what you really see is a person who is caged by their own mind and imprisoned by the thoughts of who they should be… Rather than who they are.

And there are soooo many other ways that we have been unconsciously and consciously conditioned but we are not aware yet… but then again some of us are and it just takes a little more time to learn those important lessons we need in life.

But if no one has said it to you today (or ever) just know that what you are feeling is okay and crying about it is ok… feeling upset is ok… feeling sad is okay… IT IS OKAY TO FEEL.

So practice being mindful of YOUR feelings! They ARE important. Who to take better care of you than you! Address the issue, walk into your truth… listen to yourself…  if you do not listen to yourself how do you expect others to listen to you?

4.18.18

I saw everything today. In my moment of mindfulness, I saw everything. I lived in the moment, I felt no seconds or minutes pass. I was in tune with what was going on in the world. It was like I was the world and the world was me.

Why is it that the only time we connect… is when we’re naked? … is there no vulnerability there in your nudeness?

But when we’re fully clothed we sit side by side in silence?

Where are the beautiful people?

Where have the beautiful people gone?

Being beautiful is more than just looks.

Being beautiful is something that comes from within… it is something that I think a lot of us have a hard time sharing, because maybe we feel as though we are not.

The way you treat others and the way you treat yourself reveals a lot about your inner beauty.

Feeling beautiful can be a feeling you get from others and yourself based on your outward appearance… and there is nothing wrong with that… but what happens when that beauty fades?? what happens when something/someone comes and alters that feeling??

And all you are stuck with is a canvas… that use to be beautiful.

When you are a beautiful person within no one can change that.

No one has the power to take that from you, as long as you don’t allow it.

Beauty is showing gratitude and respect to all living things.

Beauty is the upbeat rhythm playing in your heart and soul because you have all the confidence and faith in yourself and your God.

Beauty is the soul that gives and takes love.

Beauty is the person that you are and that you fighting to become.

You don’t have to have perfection to be beautiful…

Just some love… for yourself.