5.3#ExFactor

Who would have guessed…

It almost feels like I’m watching a movie, and as I stop and replay I can’t help but be curious.

Was this your intention?

To clothe yourself in sweet nectar…

To tempt me like a wild, honey bee?

Did you intend to deceive me?….

How long have you been writing these lies? They taste so sweet on your tongue.

I bet it was like stealing candy from a baby.

4.29#gratitude

  1. I am grateful for perspective and understanding.
  2. I am gratfeul for my vulnerbility and the love I am rewarded as a token.
  3. I am grateful for my sense of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.
  4. I am grateful for hellos and goodbyes.
  5. I am grateful for refinding my identity.

4.29#solitude

Good morning,

I am currently sitting outside, or as I call it… in the grace of God. As the wind sweeps against my lips and the sun illumitnates my cheeks, I am reminded of the miracle of life that is happening… that is always happening, even in your despair. To live an existence of not feeling is foolish. Find mindfulness in solitude.

4.28#gratitude

I am grateful for my being.

I am grateful for the health of my body.

I am grateful for the experiences that have evolved my mind, soul, and body.

I am grateful for my children.

I am grateful for my compassion and understanding. (So that I may not hold on to bitterness or ill feelings, because with the power of compassion and understanding comes forgiveness and with forgiveness there is love and with love, you are accepting and when you accept you are truthful…)

I am grateful for patience.

🙂 SM

4.27#Change

Everyday you get up, you have the chance to fight AGAIN!

Whatever the problem was yesterday… TODAY you have been blessed with the kiss of life.

Do better, be better! And you can’t be afraid.

You can’t be afraid to say “Hey, I don’t like this. I want to change this. How do I change it? How do I help myself?”

I miss my dad.

I’ve never said those words before tonight.

But I knew one day I would. Just not tonight…

I was just sitting in bed. Thinking:

“what can i do”

“what do i do in the meantime”

“how can i be the best version of me”…

And then with all my pride, I opened my mouth I asked God aloud “How can I serve you? Help me to be who I need to be.”

And then it started… I started thinking about my dad. I started to think about the reality of my relationship with my father… it had been nonexistent for years… just complete silence.

And now more than anything, I wish he was here.

 

I wish we hadn’t been stuck in our egos and had just shown each other the love we both deserved…

I asked and I was given. As I took the time to just let myself unravel I thought to myself…

Is this apart of the process?? Is this something that I needed because I had been filled with such resentment and was unconscious for so long and never realized it? Was God telling me to love? to give love and also RECIEVE IT… because honestly, I haven’t been.

❤ ❤

When it’s the right time God will show you your true self… and what you do with that truth is up to you.