flowers

flowers

Just as a flower’s life…

       there are relationships that will bloom and there are others that will wither.

Just as the gardener tends her garden…

       there is a time to tend, a time to salvage, and a time to let go.

❤                                                                                                     

-following your purpose requires faith

-following your purpose requires faith

God is trying to do something through me and my life… I’m not sure what exactly though…

Others may tell me otherwise…

But how can you argue with a vision that was given to me from God???

Hypocrites…

Living with anxiety and depression, oh and being bipolar…

Living with anxiety and depression, oh and being bipolar…

Dealing with my mental health is comparable I think to a game of seesaw… expect I’m the only person playing.

I mean, for the most part, I am pretty functional… no one knows what I deal with unless I choose to share with them… Most days it seems I’m just sitting and waiting for the next episode, and when it arrives it’s a constant fight of who’s going up and who’s going down…

Anxiety is having thoughts that I don’t want in my head running and running until they stumble from exhaustion. It’s feeling fearful and doubtful and self-loathing…

Depression is feeling completely useless, unworthy, and hopeless… no sense of ambition… just an emptiness that engulfs my entire being.

Being bipolar are those moments when I’m like sooo elated and like OMG, all this energy and I just want to daaaaance. LALALALA I’m so productive, look at me getting sh*t done. I’m just freaking AWEEESome. My mind is racing and like, I’m here and here and I’m there too. But then it’s over…… and I guess I’m okay… and I mean I’m chilling I guess, yawn.. blahh. I could go do something but… yeah probably not, I’ll just sit right here.

I can honestly say that my mental health has definitely improved and every day I am learning ways to manage myself. This journey has been lonely, frustrating, and confusing but don’t give up on yourself; no one can love you better than YOU… I can’t wait to share more, til next time 😉

#Random thoughts 9/25/18

#Random thoughts 9/25/18

I’ve been blessed with the gift of compassion and understanding. Thoughts, ideas, people, sights don’t brush the surface for me… they invade my mind and open a part of my soul.

They peak my curiosity and my desire to connect with the world around me.

I use to take it for granted and allowed conditioning to become who I was.

It’s definitely a blessing… but often viewed as a curse because everyone won’t get it… everyone isn’t at the point. Not at everyone notices the rainbow… but that doesn’t mean it it’s there and doesn’t mean its any less beautiful ❤️